I think quite a lot and quite deeply about the subject of running when my motivation is raised – particularly in times of trying for a new goal in a race, not that the latter has been a major issue in recent times. I also try to consider the things that help me and those that conversely hinder what I’m trying to achieve. It’s been all-too-long now that I’ve been prescribed Citalopram anti-depressants for a long-term problem with depression and also anxiety. This is an obviously an issue that travels well outside the confines of just running but the time has come for me I feel to stop taking medication. I just felt that progress was always going to be limited with the tax on vitality that these drugs possess. With other issues in my life indicating that it would be a suitable to time to end my association with these drugs, I have taken the step of weaning myself of this drug and am closely monitoring the effect it is having on me and on my running.
It’s a little early to say of course but after just a short while without the ‘aid’ of the little white tablets the portents look promising. I feel a little more clear-headed and in charge my own destiny to more of a degree. Importantly I appear to be learning how to ‘care’ again. This is incredibly important as previously this lack of interest in caring has led to poor and destructive eating, drinking and yes, exercise habits (apart from running of course).
It’s very much early days as yet but I am heartened. I feel it’s the way forward for me and my running.