The Tears of a Clown

Now if there's a smile upon my face…

Psychology: How a Woman’s Mind Works

How a woman’s mind works.

Have you ever wondered how the female brain functions? Study the below carefully – it’s finally explained here in one simple and easy-to-understand illustration.

Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about a task that needs to be carried out, a decision that needs to be made or a problem that needs concluding. Apparently men have only two balls which it is said take up most of their thoughts.
For further information about this once-baffling subject please read on…

For the gentlemen reading this, please consider the below. A daunting list maybe but the ladies are worth it aren’t they? What’s that you say? You’d like some time to think about that? Here we go…

A beginner’s list in what a man needs to be to make a woman happy:

1. A friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate

Most important – please don’t forget to:

44. give her compliments regularly
45. love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. not stress her out
49. not look at other girls

Reminder: you must also:

50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

The following is imperative:

53. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

Nobody ever said it was going to be easy…


January 27, 2008 - Posted by | Ripping Yarns | ,


  1. Thats amazing. What functionality

    Comment by iZiViSo | February 17, 2008

  2. I enjoy how all points lead to ‘NO’ in the centre there.

    Comment by Stuart | February 17, 2008

  3. on a whim i typed the phrase london in the springtime and came across your blog… and saw this. Good one!!! Keep writing.

    Comment by s | June 14, 2008

  4. I’m still waiting to get into trouble for this post! Fingers crossed so far… 🙂

    Comment by Stuart | June 17, 2008

  5. Found this while loking for inverewew gardens, Very witty, you have a very inquiring mind, Yes Robins Hood Bay is a gem. Write on.

    Comment by jan | September 2, 2009

  6. Thanks Jan.

    If you haven’t already, I’d really recommend a visit to Inverewe Gardens, it’s an absolute delight!

    Take care.

    Comment by Stuart | September 2, 2009

  7. I can’t seem to ever make a woman happy no matter what i do i am never perfect or good enough. even if i gave her the shirt off my back.

    Comment by Peter Kaporis | September 30, 2009

  8. Sadly I don’t think you’re on your own, Peter. It’s a ceaseless quest. Good luck!

    Comment by Stuart | October 1, 2009

  9. Peter, we are definitely not looking for perfection. Hell no, it would be way too hard to keep up with. All we want, well all I want, is someone who makes me feel like I matter.

    Comment by Rosanne | October 7, 2009

  10. All d qualities a woman need from a man as specified here cannot be 100% each. We are all humans. Even females cannot meet all the attributes males require to keep them moving. This is a logical reasoning. BEKEE 4RM NIGERIA

    Comment by Maduakolam bekee | August 9, 2010

  11. my relationship with a girl had broken because i had proposed her for love.what should i do ?

    Comment by rituraj | August 13, 2010

  12. You read my mind,this is good stuff,right to the point and precise.

    Comment by mercy | March 15, 2011

  13. This can not be more right about the woman’s frame of mind compered to a man

    Comment by Kareem Abo Ganis | November 15, 2011

  14. nice site

    Comment by tc | December 3, 2011

  15. […] the meantime here’s a tongue-in-cheek chart about how women’s minds work. It’s pretty spot-on. In fact, I showed it to Bryan, and received this […]

    Pingback by Temper Tantrums. | καρισ. αδιαλεπτος. | January 19, 2012

  16. its very hard to understand what she wants nd wts runnin in her mind its stiil a myestry

    Comment by david | April 12, 2012

  17. we can not say about the womens’
    mind is working in which way

    Comment by krishan kant | April 28, 2012

  18. Wondering — did you ever get in trouble for this post? I laughed for quite a while over this. I think I must’ve been dropped on my head as a tot because there are only about 10 to 12 on that list that matter to me. Hhhmmm. So glad that you are posting regularly again but scrolling back in time and finding funny bits like this are a treat. 🙂 All the best, Lissette

    Comment by Lissette | May 9, 2012

  19. I am always in trouble anyway Lissette! I’m sure there is room for a male comparison piece somewhere though don’t you think! Thanks for the nice comment, it’s good to be rolling one or two articles out again.

    Comment by Stuart | May 10, 2012

  20. I’m sure you’re right Stuart but would a comparative piece for males have as many moving parts? (giggling)… And as for trouble — it’s great for keeping the boredom at bay.

    Comment by ellegee63 | May 10, 2012

  21. Well some males try not to move around too much (I’ve heard) 😉

    Comment by Stuart | May 11, 2012

  22. LOL — well some, yes (more giggling).

    Comment by ellegee63 | May 11, 2012

  23. A woman plays a different roll then a man. The woman is the exalter of the love they share. The man is the one who must have control. They both must love one anouther..

    Comment by kelly anderson | May 25, 2012

  24. but in actual life like such never happen

    Comment by neetu | May 27, 2012

  25. HI Stu, have you written an alternative gender article, titled: ‘How A Man’s Mind Works’?

    If not, perhaps I could be one of those fortunate, in providing you with first hand research material.

    Signed: Christine Jackson Straw (Ms)

    Comment by christine jackson straw | May 28, 2012

  26. Thanks but I think I should leave that job to a woman, Christine!

    Comment by Stuart | May 28, 2012

  27. To me. Women feel substandard in whataver they tend to, but they always want to prove they are equal to men in all egemonies. Though their mind runs eazilly without experience or tutorring.

    Comment by Akinwumi tope | May 31, 2012

  28. I have never tried to control anyone,least of all my wife,we have a 50/50 relationship,I respect my wife, in all that entails. You have to work at a relationship every day,not once in a while,it seems the small thoughtful things are appreciated, more than the big stuff.
    At 63,I will play an Otis Redding or Marvin Gaye CD and we will dance(shuffle) around the living room.
    Give them the peace, love, and understanding they deserve.

    Comment by Bryan Murray | June 4, 2012

  29. I like that

    Comment by Alvan c | June 6, 2012

  30. Hmmmmmm. These expectations are truly a beginner’s list. We men are made to serve and if some thing comes in return, it’s God grace.

    Comment by Sushil | June 10, 2012

  31. i tried to make a good friednd ship with a girl( age 25), bt most of the time i found that she is not happy with me bt she is happy with other guys.. what ever i try to make her happy… is nt working….. most of time i found that she talking with other guys, smiling, and having fun, bt she is silent when she is with me…. actually hw can i make her happy.. make her one of ma best friend…..???????

    Comment by naveen | July 6, 2012

  32. funny as it sounds, yet very true

    Comment by steve kadango | July 17, 2012

  33. very nice gud logic

    Comment by anesh | August 12, 2012


    Comment by abin | August 25, 2012

  35. My mind runs in a million different directions all the time, I’m always thinking about 10 different things at all times, And I’m not female, and having problems with my girl this is a hilarious eye and mind opening, fucked up, hilarious, sick, enlightening, fucked up, hilarious, closest to a look into a females mind. Moral of that visual and story is you won’t come anywhere close to satisfying, and they never know what they want for sure ever, and if they do they dont know to get it with all that bullshit going on

    Comment by kev | September 18, 2012

  36. At least all the balls are trying to get to the same place. Thank G—– for gravity ! A girl’s perspective… : – )

    Comment by The Dragon Master | November 24, 2012

  37. Means women are self centre. Who on Earth can satisfy all the list? I conclude thhat women cannot be pleased.

    Comment by Akinwumi tope | December 19, 2012

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