The Tears of a Clown

Now if there's a smile upon my face…

Canada ’08: The Sunny Okanagan

I don’t claim this to be an original set of observations by myself but it tells one of the stories of living in the Okanagan area of British Columbia, Canada. It’s a hot place sure enough. A nice dry heat that I personally find easy to adapt to without the familiar humidity of the UK. Officially a desert, it really feels like it sometimes. I don’t find too many of the locals complaining though…

What’s not to like?

THE OKANAGAN – WHAT A PLACE !  

 

May 30th:
Just moved to THE SUNNY OKANAGAN. NOW THIS IS THE PLACE TO LIVE … Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It is beautiful. I’ve  finally found my home. I love it here.         

 

 June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 30C today. Not a problem. Live in an  air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to  see the sun everyday like this. I’m turning into a sun worshipper.  

June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus  and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawns for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

 

July 10th:
The temperature hasn’t been below 30C all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat?  At least it’s kind of windy though.  But getting used to the heat is taking longer that I expected.

 

July 15th:
Fell asleep by the community pool.  Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do.  I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol’ sun in a climate like this.

 

July 20th:
I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stunk up the upholstery.  The car now smells like Kibbles and shits.  I learned my lesson though.  No more pets in this heat.

 

July 25th:
The wind sucks.  It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!!  And it’s hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the Fritz and the air conditioning repair man charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

 

 

July 30th:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now. $500,000 house and I can’t even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

 

Aug. 4th:
Its 115 degrees.  Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today.  It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 20.  I hate this stupid city.

 

Aug. 8th:
If another wise-ass cracks, ‘Hot enough for you today?’ I’m going to strangle him.  Damn heat.  By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

 

Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work.   Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire.  I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass.  Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.
  

Aug. 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny! Hot and sunny! Hot and sunny!  It’s been too hot to do shit for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn’t it ever rain in this damn desert??  Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the cactus can’t live in this damn heat.

 

Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!!  Temperature got to 40C today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, ‘Hot enough for you today?’   My sister had to spend $1500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking OKANAGAN!! What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??

Will write later to let you know how the trial went.

 

BTW:  It’s supposed to go up to 35C here this weekend.

August 24, 2008 - Posted by | On The Road | , , , ,

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